A 36-year old woman from Michigan has made a crashing entrance into the Guinness Book of World Records yesterday at the Harper University Hospital, by giving birth to her 17th child, all born from different fathers.
According to the internationally recognized authority on the cataloguing and verification of world records, Anita Jones has just become the first woman in recorded history to conceive children with more than seventeen different men.
“I’m extremely proud to have broken a World Record,” Ms. Jones told reporters. “My mother always told me that I was lazy and worthless, and that I would never accomplish anything in my life. Now, I’ve shown everyone that she was wrong, and that I can even be the best in the world when I put my mind to something. In fact, I’ve just accomplished something that no one had done before!”
Anita Jones says she’s been unlucky with relationships in the past, but she believes that this time she may have found the man of her life.
“I’m good at having babies, but I’m really awful when it comes to picking the fathers of my children,” says the young woman. “This time, however, I think I’ve learned from my past mistakes. Ramón isn’t like all the jerks I’ve dated before. We’ve been together for almost a year and a half, and I really believe it could work between us.”
Jones’ sixteen other children were all present at the hospital to meet their new sibling. They were all extremely proud to hear that their mother had broken a Guinness World Record, and posed happily for the 2017 edition of the book.
After their meeting with Ms. Jones, the representatives of Guinness opened a second investigation concerning the record for the number of child support pensions received by one person.
The Detroit native is already the beneficiary of pensions paid by 12 different men, and is implicated in two other custody cases, which should proceed before the family court over the next two months.
The investigation should be over by the next month, and Guinness will then be able to tell if Ms. Jones holds a second World Record or not.