14-Year-Old Impregnated From Toilet Seat In Burger King

According to her parents, an unnamed 14-year-old girl has become pregnant after visiting a local Burger King restaurant, where they say semen that was on the seat must have caused her to conceive.

“The manger at the Burger King was throwing a man out of the restaurant as we were walking in, and when we asked what happened, they said they found him in the women’s bathroom,” said the girl’s mother, who asked to just be referred to as Mary. “It was disgusting, but there are a lot of perverts in this world. We still enjoyed our burgers and then we went home.”

Before they left, though, Mary says her daughter went in to use the restroom.

“She mentioned that it was dirty and there was something on the seat, and I scolded her for not hovering like I always say to do in public,” said Mary. “But I didn’t think too much of it after that, until about 6 weeks later.”

According to Mary, her daughter complained of cramps after a missed period, and doctors confirmed she was pregnant.

“Our daughter does not even have a boyfriend. She’s never even seen a penis before, so I know that she is telling the truth when she says it had to be the toilet,” said Mary. “I’ve confirmed with multiple physicians who say although rare, it’s entirely possible that the disgusting man’s semen could have impregnated my daughter if it is was still fresh enough.”

Mary says she plans to bring a lawsuit against Burger King for not “properly cleaning” their establishment.

“We’re a Catholic family, so abortion is out of the question here,” said Mary. “I will certainly make sure that Burger King pays for this child for the rest of its life, though, I’ll see to that. I only thank God that the pervert was white.”